Soccer Is Becoming Cooler?

I’m not a fan of soccer and have never been a fan of soccer; however, I am a huge fan showboating, taunting, and pissing on your opponents egos. And by doing a front-flip milliseconds after kicking a goal on a penalty kick, this guy is pretty much giving the keeper the soccer equivalent of a golden shower. If shit like this happened in soccer more often I’d actually consider watching it here and there. But no, this never happens in soccer. In fact, I’d bet my left testicle that this was the only goal in the game and was one of the three shots on net. And my left testicle is my bigger one, that’s how fucking confident I am in my statement.

But in reality, I probably can’t be shitting on soccer too much. I used to dabble in the U-10 (under 10 years old) league back in my athletic prime. You know, the little kid league where you got like 13 players and both goalies chasing after the ball in a clump while the kid with the ADD is chasing after a butterfly over on the sidelines. But hey, at least in the kid’s league the fans got to see some goals being scored. I must have scored like 3 goals a game since I was one of the older kids in the league, although they were usually in my own net. But honestly, I did not give a fuck. In the U-10, a goal’s a fucking goal and as long as I got to suck on my orange slices during half-time I was a happy camper.

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~ by Shutout on April 15, 2011.

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